Friday, March 6, 2009 10:31 PM
I'm watching Happily Ever After. those heartaches the character goes through, it was never going to end is it?It's the same way here. But i've decided to not run away from it. I'm making a revelation. Here. My personal space.Sometimes i look at the flowers and smile to myself, How pretty.Sometimes i look at the sea and take a deep breath, every drop was ever so Precious.Sometimes i look at the children and gasp, why, they brought about so much happiness.Sometimes, you'll never know when you'll stop crying.On the surface, you do. But inside, the heart wrenching truth keeps stabbing your heart. Actually, i do know that some of my actions trigger gossips and unhappiness around. Occasionally i'm in the dark, but at times, i still see it clear but chose to studiously ignore. These happenings are inevident, so why should i let it affect me? But i would like to clarify to the Others that aren't involved but yet set the floor "She's the one, she's wrong." . Just like behind every imminent performance many won't see the setup, for this case, you don't see the reason. And what about the truth? You look at things from the outside but don't forget it's opaque. I might be wrong or right but i know that everything i do, i do it with a reason. Why. For a happy ending. Even if I'm fake, i'm a shrewd. It's fine.I should'nt be so deeply fallen back : But it was different that day. And i couldn't help it, despite many saying i should stop it because people from 360 degrees were watching me and seeing me in my desperate strait. Yes i am emotional, who doesn't? They cover it up. Guys can put on a brave front for all they want and call it off. For me, It's only through crying that stops the mocking pain from recyling itself and diverting all your thoughts to it. Regardless of what, i'm going to end this.I'm stronger after the tears and i'm not only appearing to be strong for the others to see. I'm not wearing armours, all i have, a strong beating heart that's going to keep faith throughout this arduous jorney. For my days ahead, my 'O level, and the people that has never given up on me. Thanks for holding me when i fell so deep. i know now, who genuinely cared but i'm also going to reflect on what went wrong and get back on the right track. (:
